Week 2

I once thought, once we have kids, What will I worry about?

Fears of motherhood

"Is his poo the right color?"
"Does he have a temperature?"
"Does he have some strange, rare disease?"
"Is he connecting with me?"
"Am I connecting to him?"
"Will I ever get to do anything again other than change diapers and try to calm crying babies?"
"Is he progressing at the right rate?"
"Is he getting sick?"
"What will I do if he gets sick?"
"They are so fragile, what if I do something to hurt them?"
"Is that clean?"
"Someone might try to steal them!"
"Am I getting enough time to stay healthy myself, how do I exercise or have time to process all these thoughts I have?"
"Am I interacting with them enough? Am I interacting with them too much? Am I dividing my time equally between them?"

Crazy! Thankfully I have a great husband who is able to help me laugh at some of my ridiculous fears. Yesterday was a hard day, neither slept well and they were very grumpy the whole day. Also they are"talking", Cuing and googleing more each day, so when they are awake it seems like they are either crying or ga-ga-ing, which I think is good but very different than the babies we met a week ago who just sat there and observed and pretty much never cried. Today they are much happier and sleeping/napping very well. This makes such a difference. It allows me to put them down by themselves (which I just have to do with two babies) without bursting into tears
I am having my sister post these for me as I do not have access to my blog so I will not be able to read any responses you might have for me.
Feel free to email me at Rachel.kerrigan@gmail.com